Did It Again
by IHeartParis97
Summary: Regretting something is a regret in itself. Jaye often wonders if things could have been different with Joey, although she knows that that was unlikely. Once a cheat, always a cheat, she's sure. What if she's wrong?


Jaye pulled her hair into a ponytail before taking Alice's hands in hers. They were calloused and dry, her nail varnish chipped to reveal stained nail beds. It was a beautician's worse nightmare. Jaye prided herself on her nails, which were freshly painted every few days and always perfectly rounded. There wasn't many things worse than a poorly kept set of nails, in Jaye's opinion. "Alice," she wailed, sticking out her lower lip, "what have you been doing with your hands?"

Alice looked down at them, a blush creeping up her neck, before she looked back up at Jaye. "I'm working all hours for Michael and Janine now - I don't have time to do my nails, no matter how much I want to."

"Thank goodness you booked an appointment," she praised, releasing her grip on Alice's hands to scrub them of their nail polish. "I cannot believe I haven't noticed until now. What colour do you want to go for?"

Alice scanned the rack of colours, deliberating over which to pick. Eventually, after much hesitation, she decided on a blood-red, a satisfied smile on her face as Jaye set about tidying her nails. "How have you been? I feel like I haven't seen you in a while."

"It has been a long time," Jaye agreed, not looking up from what she was doing. "I think it's because of mine and Joey's split - I don't see any of your lot anymore."

"He still regrets what he did," she offered with a sad smile. "He refuses to speak of it...or you, but it's there. I can tell that he still thinks about you. When your name is mentioned, he perks up slightly, and then he realises that he has no reason to anymore."

"Alice, stop," she giggled, shaking her head. "You're making this sound like some cliche movie. I'd be very surprised if that was his thought processes. He looked very cosy with Whitney the other day-"

"You're not suggesting anything, are you?" Alice's eyebrows shot up as she shook her head.

"I'm not ruling anything out anymore," Jaye shrugged, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear as it fell from her ponytail. "I ruled out him ever getting with any of my friends and that seemed to turn on its head."

Alice watched Jaye spread the polish over her nails for a few minutes before she answered. "Would you consider ever getting back together with him?"

Jaye brought her eyes up to Alice, her mouth forming a straight line as she set the brush on the table. "I love him, Alice, I really do. I don't want to be but I'm still in love with him."

"Are you saying that you would?" She asked, her eyes widening with hope.

Jaye shook her head, picking up the brush and carrying on. "I can't put myself through it all again. I don't even want to love him, let alone actually be with him. It didn't work for us the first time, it won't work for us again." As she finished off Alice's nails, the subject was changed, much to her relief. She had been able to avoid the subject of Joey for the last few months, but not as much as she would have liked. It seemed everybody had a say on what she should do - and most believed he deserved a second chance. She didn't want to think of what other people thought she should do - it was a decision she would make, and she'd already made it. It took a further ten minutes before Alice's nails were done and dry, a top coat finishing them off nicely. "There we go, all done."

Alice followed her to the desk, watching as she rifled through the organised mess for the diary. She scribbled something beside Alice's name before looking up at her with a polite smile. "Do you want to book in again? You won't have an excuse to let them go wild."

"Yes, please," she nodded, watching as Jaye flicked through the book, mentioning a date and time. "That's perfect, Jaye...thanks."

"You're welcome," Jaye beamed. "See you in a few weeks."

Alice turned to walk out of the door, suddenly stopping to turn around. "Jaye?"

She stopped trying to tidy the desk, looking up at Alice with a confused expression. "Is something the matter?"

"I just wanted to apologise for pressing you about Joey," she answered with another blush. "He was just always happy when he was with you, and he hasn't been for a while. I want him to happy, but it wasn't fair on you."

"It's fine," Jaye shook her head as if it was actually ok. "Bye, Alice."

She waited for Alice to leave the salon before slumping against the wall, allowing the breath to leave her chest. There was something very hard-hitting about hearing your ex-boyfriend's sister tell you that getting back with their brother would be a course of action. She was normally able to ignore it, but this declaration seemed a little closer to him. What if things would be different this time? Jaye batted the thought to the back of her mind, ridiculing herself for even considering things could ever be different. _Once a cheater, always a cheater_, as her mother would say.

* * *

When she'd finished her shift, Jaye trekked across the Square towards the pub. In her eyes, nothing would be better than a large glass of white wine at this current moment. She might even get to have a sit-down with Alfie, who still wasn't aware of his paternity to her. Nobody was - not Lauren, not Whitney, not even her own mother. Joey was the only person who knew, and he hadn't told anyone other than her. Jaye couldn't bring herself to tell anyone - how do you start that conversation? She was happier with no one knowing - no one ever knowing.

She reached the double doors and pushed them open, stepping inside and heading straight for the bar. Alfie greeted her with a sloppy grin and a friendly wink. "What can I get my favourite Walford socialite to drink?"

"Be careful, Alfie," Jaye smiled playfully, "the other socialites might get jealous. Mine's a generous glass of white wine, please."

"I'll bring it over, darlin'," he took her money from her and watched as she settled into a booth in the furthest corner of the pub. He'd noticed that since her break-up with Joey she'd become more of a recluse than she used to be. He knew she hated people talking about the poisonous relationship they'd shared, which was part of the reason she stayed away from general conversation now. He hated seeing her like that - and he blamed Joey. Since discovering the reason for their break-up was his infidelity, Alfie had come to hate the boy. His Dad had been a bad enough of an example than he thought Joey would have taken particular notice and made an effort not to be the same. Obviously not. "One large white wine."

"Thank you," Jaye beamed gratefully, taking a long sip. "Oh my, I needed that."

Alfie sat down opposite her, rubbing at a mark on the table as he spoke. "Long day?"

She looked up at him from under her long eyelashes, almost debating whether or not to talk him. She seemed to take a long breath before deciding to do so. "Have you ever loved someone so much that when you're not with them it hurts?"

He chuckled, looking down at his hands. "Kat springs to mind."

"But then they do something and you know that morally that should be the end of it," she continued mindlessly. "Part of you knows that for your own sanity and piece of mind, that's for the best...and then there's another part of you that thinks maybe things will be different the next time. It has to be."

"Joey?" He asked, peering at her sadly.

She nodded her head, her eyes rising to meet his. "I spoke to Alice today; she seems to think that getting back together would be best for both of us. Apparently she hasn't seem Joey as happy as he was when we were together."

"And Alice has got you thinking?" Alfie shot her a kind smile, taking her hand in his.

Jaye nodded, her face showing nothing but fear. "I don't want her to be right, but what if she is?"

"Why is anything Alice has said any different to the rest of the stuff you've been told?" He asked, tilting his head.

"It was closer to home," she admitted. "She's Joey's sister - it feels like she'll know how we both feels. I told her I loved him still because I do...I really do. What does this mean?"

"If Joey walked in here now, with another girl, how would you feel?" Alfie watched her face fall and smiled fondly.

"It would break my heart," she confessed, a tear rolling down her cheek. "But being with him would leave me in exactly the same position."

"Alfie, the barrel needs changing!" Kirsty called from behind the bar.

"Can't you do it?" He frowned, gesturing to Jaye. "I'm busy."

She held up her hands, revealing garish, sparkly nails and shrugged. "Not with these nails...they'll snap."

"I wish I could give you an answer, Jaye," Alfie sighed as he stood up, "but only you can do that."

Jaye watched as he walked away, knocking back the last of her wine before leaving the pub. The air was colder than when she'd entered the pub, the sky beginning to melt into a darker shade now. She briskly walked past Arthur's bench, shivering in her thin salon uniform as her hair flapped in the wind. She walked a little further when a darkened figure blocked her path, whispering her name.

She flinched with fear, suddenly sighing in relief as he pulled his hood down. "What do you want, Joey?" She tried to sound composed, a lump forming in her throat as she tried to appear unaffected by his appearance.

"Can we sit down?" He asked, gesturing to the bench.

She stared at the bench for a while before dropping into it, watching as Joey did the same. "Do you have a reason for being here?"

"Alice told me she'd spoken to you today," he started, biting his lip nervously. "I'm really sorry. I suppose you think I put her up to that?"

"Of course not," she shook her head, watching him smile slightly. "You would have done it a much more dishonest and scheming way - that's how you work, Joey. You're not just honest with people."

"She told me you were still in love with me," he continued.

"You sound surprised," Jaye frowned, tilting her head.

"I thought that feeling would have dissolved over the last four months," he admitted, shrugging his shoulders. "I'm relieved it hasn't."

She shook her head, stifling her laughter. "Do you think that means we're getting back together?" Seeing his hopeful expression, she snorted, shaking her head again. "Not a chance. Never in a million years."

"Never?" He repeated, looking slightly shocked.

"Ever," she nodded, standing up. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have places to be."


End file.
